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23rd-Jan-2010 04:03 pm - Bumper Stickers
poison ivy
Honk if you Love Jesus
Text if you want to meet Him
1st-Jan-2008 11:08 pm - my four seasons
my emo_ness
"My Winter"

cold, sharp and mysterious.

"My Spring"

full of life
positive outlook
springs into action

"My Summer"

humorous and fun. its all about good times.

"My Autumn"

warm & calm...
things change - gia is our balance!

happy new year 2008
17th-Dec-2007 12:51 am - I finally have a favorite quote...
poison ivy
two actually...

"everything eventually, becomes a memory"


"imagine the world without games - ironically everyone wins"
17th-Dec-2007 12:49 am - The Falling...
my emo_ness
16th-Sep-2007 10:56 pm - God I miss her tonight~
poison ivy

When Taylor was born I immediately looked at the clock – 8:02 – the same time I was born.
I smiled and said…
Yay! That’s my niece!

When I bought her her first pet, a hamster, then all of a sudden she had a guinea pig, then another guinea pig, then a cat, then another cat,
I said…
Oh God, That’s definitely my niece!

A while back at Christmas while Taylor was sitting on my best friends lap being tickled, she said “stop Corey stop, I’m gonna pee” of course he didn’t, and she pee’d right on his leg.
I fell out laughing and thought to myself…
Ooh, that’s my niece!

When I walked her to school the first day of 2nd grade, everyone thought she was my daughter;
I shook my head and casually said…
My niece!

A few months later when she started to dress herself I noticed that her outfits didn’t quite match, this is when I really knew.

…Or maybe, when she begged me to download songs by Avril Lavigne and No Doubt…

…Or when she took a bite of my vegan sausage and asked for another.

I don’t know…

But when I sat last night and decided that coming up here to speak today was going to be way too hard for me, I cried a little and said you know what…
That’s my niece!

So here I am.

Taylor Renee Ward
February 23, 1998 - September 3, 2007

25th-May-2007 09:03 pm - day one.
my emo_ness
memorial day weekend.
three cats.
three dogs.
everyone is being so good.
i'm a lucky girl.
23rd-Apr-2007 02:15 am - thanks touie.
poison ivy
a friend wrote this.

real depression isn't selfish
nor is it emo.

it's empty.

it's well beyond apathetic.
it's angst that boils over
resentment of "normal" people
wondering why you can't be happy
no matter how "good things are going for you"

it's looking around the room for anything that matters
and coming up empty handed
it's desperate phone calls to answering machines

loss of will

it's asking god
or anyone
to do something

you reach out and reach out
and hopefull you're caught

if not,
if you're lucky,
you cry it out
wail more like...
until you pass out

the only thing that helps is sleep.
unconditional love
or death.

selfish people commit suicide

the rest suffer
alienate themselves
and pretend to give a shit.

most people out there don't have a clue what it's like
it's not acute
it's not "whoa is me"
it's not "im sad"

it's way way worse.

it's living without spirit.
it's the tin man with out dorothy

send me to the scrap yard
i want to be recycled
and come back as a toto
22nd-Feb-2007 02:11 am - .unimpressed.
poison ivy
honesty is a virtue. it doesnt make you God. nor does it excuse you.

23rd-Oct-2006 12:39 am - .none.
my emo_ness

the answer likely was a simple hello.

23rd-Jul-2006 11:30 pm - psh... 9 months later
my emo_ness
i dont write anymore
barely called myself a writer to begin with
i was on a plane today and came up with this:

i pinch myself often
each time
it hurts just the same
then i ask myself
be it a dream?
yet my tears still fall.
the tiny trails they leave along my cheek
settling in the corners of my mouth
then dries.
be it a dream?
i ask myself again.
memories of a voice
causing my ears to ring
the hairs on my arms to raise
i know it
i know it too well.
the dream...
my sensitivity to touch.
while the yearn
the yearn to be embraced
this confuses me
my heart begins to flutter
then stops
then it flutters again
a little less painful
but i smile
that half smile i try to force away
be it a dream?
i suppose
i just wish it were.
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